Just a brief announcement

I'm going to be at NEEHU 4. 

I'm actually on the panel for a discussion on queer issues.

It'll be great to see the friends I met last year again, as well as seeing sleepingirl in person for the first time. 

And yeah.

I'm really excited and just putting up this post so that I will have made a post about it. :)

Spiral Turquoise's Counting Game

There's this game I play when I'm topping for impact play.  Nine, Grayson, and Sam all agree that it is completely wonderful and that I should do it pretty much whenever we play.  Kenji and Petal, after the first time they watched me play with Nine, complimented me upon how delightfully nasty it is. 

I call it Spiral Turquoise's Counting Game.

Because I'm egotistical like that.  

The game is simple:

The top has at least two different impact implements.  They should be distinctive from one another for some reason or another; perhaps one is stingy and the other thuddy, perhaps one is flexible and the other is rigid, perhaps one is thin and the other is wide. (Combinations that I like using: wood paddle/belt, wood paddle/crop, dowel rod/glowstick, rubber paddle/dowel rod)  

The bottom must then count the blows - keeping a separate count for each implement.

The game continues until the bottom makes a mistake on either count, or until a pre-arranged minimum count has been reached. The bottom receives a punishment (in the form of a flurry of had strikes, too quickly to count easily; or a switch to a different implement; or some other punishment), and likely also verbal degradation (if the bottom enjoys name-calling and humiliation, their failure to count higher is good material for indulging that kink).

The top can increase the difficulty and disorientation of this game by keeping track of the bottom's particular counting abilities.  I have found that keeping the numbers close to one another (8 strikes with the belt, followed by 7 strikes with the paddle, followed by another 4 with the belt) adds to the confusion, although a particularly long series of strikes with one implement can also obscure the memory of the other implement's count. Quickly switching, or varying the length of time between switches, can also increase the difficulty. 

If the bottom becomes particularly adept at the game, a third implement can be added to further increase the difficulty.

The goal of the game is to create a situation in which the bottom either cannot win, or can only win with great concentration and effort.   The disorientation provides a challenging mental exercise, while the nearly inevitable failure condition creates an opportunity for humiliation play.  A pre-agreed number of correctly counted strikes can yield rewards for the bottom; perhaps the bottom gets to enjoy their favorite sex act if they can successfully count to 30 on one implement.  (That said, even reaching the 20's has been incredibly difficult for everyone that I have played this game with.)   

Multilingual bottoms can decrease the difficulty by switching languages (Grayson has found that he lasts longer when he counts one implement in English and the other in Korean).  Tops who do not speak the relevant language should pay close attention, listening for repetitions, hesitations, or other signs that may indicate failure.

Now, clearly, this is not a game to play with bottoms who don't like the feeling of failure, or who have bad associations with frustrations.  This is primarily for bottoms who enjoy a mental challenge or who enjoy struggling only to fail; extra bonus for bottoms who enjoy being humiliated, degraded, reprimanded, and insulted for a quantifiable failure. 

Miscellaneous Updates

I haven't updated since the last day of August of last year.  That's...um...wow. Almost half a year.

Sorry!  I swear, I have been really busy.  My life's gone through several shifts and changes recently.


I'll start with the big stuff:

• I am now in a three-person relationship with Nine and another woman, Obtuse Acutie.  One of the things delaying my blog posts has been my perfectionism regarding a blog post about the three of us meeting in person for the first time.  We have established a polyamorous relationship which is open on all sides.
• I have a boyfriend, Grayson.  He's a cute little guy who is big into beatings and humiliation.  He's written up a log of one of our scenes, which I will post on the blog soon.  
• I've moved!  I am currently in yet another city, which shall remain unnamed, but it means that I now have regular access to a dungeon (which is where I met Grayson).  This is cool.  It means that I am now very far away from Nine and Acutie, but, we are staying in touch quite well via Skype.  
• At this point, my list of play partners tops out around a dozen total, although my constant changes in location mean that I can only rarely play with most of them in person.  
• For that matter, I have not had as much time for playing online lately.  This is unfortunate, but, what can ya do.

Aannnnddd I think that's the big important stuff.  I will definitely get Grayson's post up quite soon (he has requested that I give it a once-over edit),  and after that I will theoretically either finish the aforementioned perfectionist post about Acutie and Nine, or do a series of short vignettes from recent scenes that I have had. 

Spiral's Mantra Mad Libs!

So...here's a little thing I do whenever I negotiate with a new subject.

I love love looooove mantras, and I also love to cater my sessions to the preferences of the hypnotee.  So I always try to find or create a mantra that they will love, while determining what kinds of secondary mantras they would enjoy.

The format of these mantras inspired their name - Mantra Mad Libs. :)


Fill in the following sentence:

"I am a/an [adjective] [noun]."


In place of [adjective], choose one (or two) of the following:

• mindless
• helpless
• submissive
• obedient
• docile
• compliant
• pliant
• blank
• empty-headed
• programmed
• brainwashed
• enchanted 
• powerless

[For added fun, "helpless" can be adverb-ized as "helplessly," and thrown in front of one of these words.  Or another word, such as "horny"...]

In place of [noun], choose one of the following:

• puppet
• doll
• toy
• fucktoy
• plaything
• pet
• thrall
• slave
• slut
• bimbo
• drone
• robot
• automaton
• zombie

Then I add on a few other mantras that don't follow the pattern, to see if any catch the potential hypnotee's fancy:

• "I am helplessly hypnotized"
• "Obedience is pleasure, pleasure is obedience"
• "You control my mind, you control my body"
• "I have no will, I must obey"
• "I must obey my Master"
• "My mind is empty"
• "My mind is blank, I must obey"

There are a few themes repeated here...but then, fetishes do tend to be a little repetitive. :) 

I am very happy to take any suggestions, and will probably update this one a few times in the future with any new ones I remember, come up with, or come across. 

Another Erotica Post

I've been thinking a lot about my favorite erotica lately, so I thought I'd do another round of these links-and-reviews to hypnosis and mind control stories!

Still all maledom m/f or f/f...which is evidence that I should broaden my horizons, I think.  

As a bonus - most of these have some kind of personal connection to one of my partners, whether said partner gave me a new perspective on the story or it inspired a scene.  


Just Can't Get Enough by Jukebox (f/f, realistic hypnosis)

My Mandatory Jukebox Story. Do I even need to elaborate on what a fantastic writer he is? Anyway, I like this story because it combines a portrayal of negotiation with extremely hot trance play and a really adorable sense of humor.  It's also a rare but excellent example of hypnotist's trance being described, and in a sexy fashion at that! Also, some of the similes are really golden - Nine called my attention to them, and they are seriously cute and funny. 


Mandy by RC (f/f, noncon, robot fetish, sci-fi)

And this is my Mandatory RC Story.  This is the first FemMech story, and by far the best. Yeah, it's a non-con story, but the gradual robotizing is hot. I also like the twist about Mandy 2542 halfway through the story - it not only foreshadows where the story is going, it hints that the setting is bigger than this one story.

I had Sluggish Twitch read this one...and while reading it, she IMed me to let me know she was getting really hot and bothered, and planned to masturbate once she finished.  So with her permission, I dropped her and gave her the suggestion that she would do that masturbation as a robot as soon as she finished the story...she adored it. :)  


Raggedy Anne by thrall (f/f, noncon, doll fetish, fantasy, heavy objectification/dehumanization)

Y'know, this one (with the exception of a few scattered moments) is not even that hot to me. It works for me as a sort of erotic horror story. thrall hits the objectification/transformation/control kinks really well, and it did not surprise me to learn later that this was a very personal fantasy for her. She writes with such energy - all of her stories have this grandeur, for lack of a better word, to them. Every thrall story has this sense of overwhelming power - it's easy to get sucked into her descriptions of mindlessness, helplessness, and brainwashed obedience because of how passionately she writes. She describes these things with the same kind of power that Lovecraft wrote about otherworldly horrors - except that she provokes eroticism instead of terror. Well...maybe a little terror!


 Bound to Please by Jay Petto (m/f, noncon, objectification, humiliation)

Now this one...well, Jay Petto's stories tend to all fit into a single niche (marionette fetish scenes, usually involving psychic powers).  And that's a good niche, because nobody else is doing them!  And they're pretty good!  This one stands head and shoulders above the rest, in my estimation, because it has a sense of love and energy built into it that I find really enthralling.   

This one gets a particular nod for inspiring some scenes with sleepingirl - it certainly suggested the puppet strings routine that I use frequently, and sleepingirl asked that I make my strings more like the ones in this story (IE, every use of them sends a surge of pleasure through her body).  At any rate, there are a lot of little bits that are strikingly hot, for both dollification elements and humiliation elements.  


 The Chip by Darkmind (m/f, robot fetish, sci-fi, brief in-story simulation of non-consent)

Darkmind tends to write these dark morality tale stories about abusive mind control....and here he instead wrote a sci-fi scene story.  As in, portraying the BDSM and mind control/robot fetishism...of the future!  It's a really sweet story, and the scene is varied in a fun way.  I like how the top readjusts after several ideas don't work -I enjoy that sense of fallibility and humanity, that a scene involves constantly reevaluating what's happening in order to get the result that both people want.  It's left vague whether the specific missteps were negotiated beforehand; I'd like to imagine that they were idly mentioned in a conversation about the scene, and then simply didn't work out in practice.  (What can I say, if I see a gap like that, I prefer to fill it in consent culture style.) 

This story came to mind when Nine drew up a really fascinating scale of autonomy for mind controlled characters - since the bottom goes all over the scale over the course of the story. I may post this scale and my thoughts on it in the future! 

NEEHU 3 Recap

A few months back, I got to go to NEEHU 3!  I was one of three people there on NEEHU’s Community Enrichment Scholarship – I submitted an essay that was judged a very good demonstration of why I should come. :) 

I stayed in a hotel suite that was reserved for volunteers in addition to the scholarship people, and one of said volunteers was Hypnosquirrel.  Hypnosquirrel is a friend of Sam’s, who has hypnotized him a few times in the past, and he has been telling each of us how awesome the other one was.  So the two of us hit it off pretty well as friends and built good rapport!  I think this is the part where I usually go into a description of what someone was like, but I think I’ll go with the show-instead-of-tell route and just demonstrate her awesomeness throughout the post as I recap the times she tranced me.  :)

The first such time was during the meet-and-greet part of NEEHU itself, when Hypnosquirrel demonstrated a rapid induction on me.  The full transcript of the first time she put me under is presented here:

Hypnosquirrel: Do you want to be hypnotized?

Spiral: Yes.

Hypnosquirrel: Do you -really- want to be hypnotized?

Spiral: Yes!

Hypnosquirrel: *tugs arm* SLEEP! 

She did that twice.  My voice may have gotten a bit loud and betrayed how excited I was about this…?  (Hint: The “may” is a lie, my voice totally did that.)  The relevant bit, which was reinforced throughout the weekend: it turns out that I am really, -really- deliciously vulnerable to instant inductions!  I am a fan of this.  For this reason, Hypnosquirrel didn’t even bother giving me a trigger, she just snapped me under on any occasion when she felt like it. 

Later in the night, Hypnosquirrel and I were both volunteers in a stage show.  This was my first time being in a stage show, and I was glad that I got to do it in front of a crowd of hypno-kinksters.  But I don’t think I’ll repeat the experience.  I just did not like the group aspect very much, and could not enjoy it with the same intensity with which I enjoy being the subject in a one-on-one encounter. 

After the stage show, I found myself really exhausted – I felt very much as I do after a scene, in need of cuddling and relaxing and good conversation.  I definitely found the relaxing and good conversation! 

I spent a while chatting with a lovely group of people, one of which was a lady who goes by Miette.  I explained how I pretty much never get to do as much hypno-subbing as I’d like, and how I’m often very nervous approaching hypno-dommes online because I don’t want to come across as a creepy sub.  The women present commented that my shyness was adorable enough to not hurt my chances (eeee).  The conversation turned to robot fetishism, and Miette’s dom demonstrated her robot trigger for us, which was most excellent.  Miette herself is a very kind and playful person, and, as I found out later, a sub with a major soft spot for submissive men who don’t get as much submission as they’d like (AKA a category that I more-or-less fit right into). 

                                                            

Afterwards, I began playing around with the head-scratcher I’d gotten in my gift bag, and Miette demonstrated just how nice it feels when someone else uses it on me…I then commented that I’d been curious about having headscritches used in an induction, and she offered to do exactly that.  She petted and scratched me under, with the lovely suggestion that she was scratching my mind away as she stroked my hair.  She gave me a reinduction trigger (“Spiral, sleep now”), as well as a suggestion to use the red-yellow-green safewords while I was in trance that weekend.  (As it happens, it turned out that my brain decided to hold on to these safewords after the weekend, because they were just so useful!) 

Chatting with Miette also helped me rather profoundly – she talked about how whenever she is given a trigger that doesn’t quite take, she tends to react as if it worked perfectly.  This was extremely helpful for me to hear!  As someone who doesn’t experience hallucinations of any kind while under hypnosis, it was really helpful to hear someone else say that they did not experience it, and that it was fine, and that they could still follow those suggestions and still enjoy themselves while doing so.  This was all immensely helpful, and I don’t think one of the amazing scenes I had the next night would have been possible without it! 

So that was the end of the first day! 

The second day, I tried to get into all the cool presentations I could!  This included an awesome demonstration of fear inductions (which came at the end of a really cool lecture on different ways to understand hypnosis), a practice session for instant inductions (during which I got tranced by Wiseguy, which was uber-cool!), a presentation on pretalk by Hypnosquirrel, and a panel discussion of femdom hypnotists.  There were definitely a few things that I wish I had gone to – there was an impromptu discussion of amnesia, for example, which I only stayed at for fifteen minutes. 

I’m also just going to give a quick shout-out to AmHypnotic, who has been one of those people I’ve always wanted to meet in the hypno scene?  I’d read about him over on Musings of a Hypno-sub, and seen him posting cool things on Fetlife, and then gotten to chat with him on Hypbook.  And he was seriously one of the coolest, kindest people I could ever hope to meet! 

The second night’s play party was where the fun really came alive.  I started the night off by hypnotizing a cool dude who was having trouble going under, and gave him a trigger that his domme could use for the rest of the evening.  While I was doing this, Miette came over to watch.  She let me know that she was feeling tired from a rope scene earlier, and wasn’t sure if she was up for trancing me.  I let her know that that was no problem at all, and finished up my hypnosis session.  Afterward, she and I began cuddling…and she decided to put me under, after all!  (She said afterward that my cuteness gave her the energy she needed to do so.)  She gave me a robot trigger, and made it free-form enough that I could fill in the details with exactly what I wanted. 

                                         

As such…I was stiff.  I was obedient.  I did not move or speak unless ordered.  I had no emotion and no expression (this was one of the few parts she was clear on, and oh my goodness YES it was great).  My voice was monotone, and she ordered me to respond to orders with “Yes, Miss.” 

                                                   

Thus suggested, she had me remove my shirts (I usually wear two layers), and fold them neatly.  Then she had me fetch her a drink, and do a robotic dance.  After that, she ordered me to pick up my clothes and follow her into another room, where she lounged back in a chair while I either stood at her side or kneeled at her feet.  When I did the latter, she braided my hair and complimented me.  She also had me going under and freezing, and ran me through the three triggers in all sorts of combinations as she alternately pulled and stroked my hair.  Oh, and a very thorough fractionation that was very yummy!  She did this cool suggestion where, before waking me up on a count of 3, she would drop me down harder and deeper by counting “0.”  Looooovvvvved it, must remember to do this to others! 

I was amazed at how much I enjoyed the embarrassment aspect of the whole thing.  While getting the drink and following her into the other room, I kept thinking in my head, “Oh my God, this is great, my body is moving perfectly, I think people are looking at me, I think that couple was staring, this is SO HOT!”   

Hypnosquirrel came by and checked me out when I was robotized and frozen – she pulled out a pen cap to do a little sensation play while I was a robot (it was cool!).  I mentioned that I’d wanted to see what would happen if I were tickled while frozen, and Miette and Hypnosquirrel promptly obliged.  The answer: I still struggle away from the tickling, but the freeze slows me down and keeps me from covering up as much as I usually do. 

                                     

Miette handed me over, and Hypnosquirrel snapped me under again.  Then she proceeded to deepen me, establish dominance over me, and increased my sensitivity before caressing and tickling and scratching my back until I made all sorts of incoherent high pitched noises.  It turns out, when I am asked to say “green” any time I like something, and the things I’m feeling are really amazing touches on my very sensitive back, my voice reaches an extremely high pitch!  In the middle of the caressing and tickling, Hypnosquirrel used a suggestion to tie my legs together and my arms to my sides, and suddenly I was writhing and thrashing without the use of my limbs.  

                                                                            

She also suggested orgasm denial – that I would get so incredibly aroused, but could not orgasm without her permission.  I told her, still under, that I wasn’t sure it would work, even though I liked the idea.  She then phrased it as a very submissive thing, using a lot of phrases that I like!  Specifically, that my body was under her control, and did what she wanted, so my hair-trigger orgasms would be kept under control.  And y’know what?  It worked perfectly!  This is a suggestion type that always failed when I tried to follow it in an MP3 or video, but it made a huge difference to have it given by someone in person, someone that I cared about obeying and pleasing, and someone who reassured me that I was capable of doing it. 

So then Hypnosquirrel suggested that I would feel pleasure running down my torso, and that just continued to make me feel great.  She then began a suggestion that involved me remembering a time when I gave someone great pleasure, and how great that felt, and suggested that I would start to feel what that person felt.  (For those who are curious, I specifically thought about the first time I gave Lovely Petal a hypnotic orgasm!) 

At some point in this, while Hypnosquirrel was asking me questions, I wanted to really show my submission, and began to stammer out a question to see if she wanted me to call her Miss or Mistress or anything like that.  I gasped out as far as “Would you like me to - ” before she YANKED my hair back and said, “If I WANT you to do something, I will TELL you, boy!” 

Yyyyeeeeaaahhhhhhh that made me melt on the spot. 

The arousal, pleasure, and memory suggestions built up and up, until she had me feel a clitoral orgasm for the climax.  It was really fascinating – I felt it as a sort of mental overlay, like there was a vagina and clit sort of floating over my body, and my body reacted appropriately. 

Hypnosquirrel and I then cuddled for a solid while, and had all kinds of warm-fuzzy aftercare goodness.  After that I kinda bounced around, and watched both Hypnosquirrel and Miette have other awesome scenes, before finishing the night hanging out with them both.  Mostly Miette froze me on occasion while I cuddled with Hypnosquirrel.  And it was amazing!  Miette also gave me a goodbye trance to help me feel really good at the end. 

Sadly, I could not stay for the final day of NEEHU.  However, my time there was absolutely amazing!  I’ve mostly covered the scenes, because, well, I have a blog where I post about my scenes.  They were also a big first for me, since I had basically never done hypno-submission in person before!  And when it finally happened, it was perfect!  So I was a big mess of warm fuzzies by the end of the weekend.  

POST SCRIPT (added 7/29/2013): Some time after this, Hypnosquirrel switched to "they" as their preferred pronoun.  They asked that I add a post-script mentioning this rather than changing the body text.  And now you know!  

Online Sessions, from the Subjects' Viewpoint

Those of you who also follow sleepingirl's blog, you've probably noticed that she just posted an account of our first private play session.  Her writing is hot, the session was good, and if you follow this blog then you probably care about reading about me.  Especially from the other side's point of view! 

And all of those things apply to what else I'm posting - Sluggish Twitch's account of our first play session (and her first time being hypnotized)!  So I'm going to bow out, and allow you, dear reader, to read what both Twitch and sleepingirl have to say about me.

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I'm a Transformer! XD

Hai! Okay so this is my account of being hypnotized for the first time. Thank you Spiral, btw!

Okay, so starting out I wasn’t exactly sure if I was going to be able to go under, but boy am I glad I did! The induction was completely and totally relaxing. See watching the videos and things online and seeing the inductions, I always wondered what the person was feeling when they were told to sleep and their head just slumped. It was a part that honestly fascinated me, to just see them instantly slump. So when he told me to sleep, and my head slumped…it was awesome. Haha. I’m just so giddy at how instantly it happened. Being in the trance was so euphoric. Like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I was diagnosed with ADD, so my mind is constantly jumping back and forth from one topic to the other. I’m surprised I don’t have a permanent “TILT” sign on my forehead. But in this blank, mindless state, it was so calming. I was completely relaxed. He and I had talked about different things that interested us, and the robot stuff REALLY interested me. That and the freezing, mantras, I saw him do a call and response with another lady, which peaked my interest. I had a friend there with me, kind of like a security blanket. It aided in helping me feel safe and relaxed, so I was able to feel more comfortable.

I don’t think I’ll do a play by play run-through. But I’m definitely going to talk about the experience as a whole, and highlights. :D Some of my favorite times were when I was the robot. That’s something that’s super sexy to me, so it was QUITE enjoyable. The deeper I went in, the more like a robot I became. I noticed my own voice becoming monotone and robotic, noticed my movements changing. It was quite the fun experience. I liked the mantra bit, as well. It helped me really relax more and helped me become more obedient, and willing to obey commands. I also like the responses I was told to give, as well. “Yes, master.” “I hear and obey.” ^.^ Describing the feeling of going in and out of being a robot to being April was…so neat. When I was April, and my robot self was activated, it felt like…like if I were full of sand and all of it just drained out like sand draining from an hour glass, but not as slow. My whole body was tingling, relaxed, blank, when my robot self was activated. We did some call and response, which was SUPER hot for me. It also helped me go deeper into trance. I really enjoyed being commanded to do certain movements. At one point I was allowed to be aware of everything that was going on while in my robot state, and not just the mindless state of mind. Which was really great, being aware of what I was doing, but unable to stop myself. Doing movements and things, but not being able to stop myself. That feeling was so niiiiiice.

Which brings me to another one of my favorite parts of the evening. Freeze! Lol. During the times when I was April he had me freeze at different points, in the middle of doing different actions. At one point he caught me in the middle of licking my lips. Haha. He allowed my friend to move my limbs to put me into different poses while I was frozen. (Like picking my nose! Haha.) There was also the time-stop bits. Which are quite amusing. Similar to freeze, but I had no idea how long I had been frozen, and had no recollection (at the time) of what had happened while frozen, but yet still able to be posed. Those were fun. ^.^ My friend definitely had a grand time during those moments. One minute I was sitting on the couch, the next I was standing up. Haha. Talk about interesting! It was like I was a life sized, plus-sized Barbie doll. Oh! Another one of my favorite moments while being April was one of the freeze moments…I was told to freeze, and he left me like that for a few while he talked to my friend. Oh boy! :D Quite enjoyed that one.

He did some triggers that would make me feel like my hair was being pulled just the way I like it, and one that when spoken would make me feel a cut being done on a part of my body. Both of which are HUGE turn ons, for me. :D After everything that happened that evening, it was safe to say that I was thoroughly satisfied with my first session.

From a mental stand point it was so great to be able to just be a shell, completely submissive and willing to obey. Which is not something that I usually am. I love the helpless feelings I had during certain parts. There are still parts of the session that I just can’t seem to recall, but I’m okay with that. I just loved the being aware while in the robotic state. That feeling of obedience…and knowing that even had I not wanted to do it I was going to do it anyway because that was the command given. Granted I wanted to do those things, but still. There was a definite…I guess…I don’t know how to put it..Directive? Desire? Not sure on the correct word, but I just wanted to please, and to be obedient, and do exactly what I was told to do. Hearing “Good girl” or “Good robot” was exhilarating.

Afterwards, when I was brought out of trance I felt as giddy as a fat kid in a candy shop with a free pass to everything. Thoroughly enjoyed that session, and hopefully there will be more to come! I’m definitely planning on learning how to do it, as well. :D During the whole session I felt tingly all over. Even afterwards. I can’t properly describe the uplifted feeling that I’m still feeling the effects of. Wee! XD