Here's a scenelog written up by my boyfriend, Grayson. Nine declared it the hottest thing she's ever read. I happen to like it a lot, and hope y'all do, too.
Content: m/m, D/s, humiliation and degradation, chloroform roleplay via hypnotic suggestion, hypnotic subspace, impact play, hair pulling, freezing.
It's been over a month since I started playing with Spiral. We've started to get a pretty good feel for what we like from each other in our play; I think good negotiation from Spiral's part has a large factor in that, as well as open dialogue post-scening. While Spiral's main kink is hypnosis, mine tend to be more 'traditional.' I'm a bratty sub and masochistic, I get off on the power play and have a fairly martial sensibility to my kink. I was rather delighted to find that Spiral enjoys beating the hell out of me as part of our play, as much as I'm sure he has come to be delighted that I enjoy the hypnosis part of our play. There's nothing quite like having a dom who has the ability to take away any given level of control with just a few choice words.
I'm not entirely sure what to expect this time. Spiral pretty much knows what I like and always asks if I'm in the mood for something in particular, so I figure I'll let him do his thing, since the last time we played I had been rather enthused on the idea of taking a really heavy beating and he quite readily obliged. I was, as he put it, reduced to "a quivering broken mess." Hot? Yes.
Spiral starts with his usual method of getting into the scene. I'm pulled from my seat by my hair, which always puts me in a good feisty, aroused mood. I rather enjoy the manhandling, plus I like to use this opportunity to feel him up a bit myself. It doesn't last long.
"Freeze." My body stops mid motion, rigid and weightless.
Spiral steps back to enjoy his handiwork, returning occasionally move parts of my body as he likes. And of course, freezing puts me in the perfect position to be undressed, which he does removing my tie and button down shirt.
"Hmmm….," a pause as he goes away for a moment…"unfreeze."
I feel the weight return to my limbs and I can move again, it's always a slightly strange feeling to come out of a trigger. I don't get much time to adjust as I feel the familiar texture of a small hand towel roughly placed over my mouth and nose. Instinctively, I struggle against it, part of the hypnotic suggestion. Never enough to hurt Spiral, but unless I'm too exhausted to fight back, enough that it's a little work to keep it there. Eventually, I have to breathe through the towel, and as I do my eyes close and my body goes slack.
Spiral sets my body down on the nearby couch; my mind is completely lucid but my body unresponsive until Spiral decides otherwise. The chloroform trigger is one of my favorites of ours, that and his submission trigger. Nothing quite puts me into such a vulnerable state, and it is a complete turn on. Unless I need to come out to interrupt the scene, I have complete and utter lack of control over my body. Or so we both think for now.
"Aww, aren't you my helpless, pathetic little toy."
He smacks my thighs a couple times. I feel each one, but from what I can tell my body doesn't respond. I vaguely wonder if this is akin to what it feels like for patients who wake up mid-surgery, unable to alert their doctors that they are lucid and can feel pain. Well, minus the sexy of course.
I feel him leave for a moment and return. When he does, I feel the stiff leather of my collar wrap around my neck and cold metal press against my skin as he buckles it to a tight, snug fit.
Snap.
My eyes open, and Spiral tugs the leash already attached to the C-ring of my collar to get me standing. I resist the action as I always do. As much as I enjoy being dominated I also like to give at least a mock fight. He forcefully pulls me away from the couch and tugs me to the ground, bringing me to my knees. I keep my head low as he pulls me along making me crawl behind him.
"Well, aren't you my submissive little fucktoy?"
I'm sure my face is flushed from humiliation, but I don't acknowledge the question. Spiral then does something unexpected and sits on top of me leash still in hand. He is not very heavy, having a lean build, and I consider bucking him for the fun on it. But he has other plans, pulling my hair and forcing my head up.
"Gnngg."
"Aren't you?"
"Y… Yes, sir."
"Good boy." I wonder what it would be like if he were to hit me from this position. Other than being incredibly hot.
He leads me back to toward the couch and back onto my feet just before reapplying the towel.
Spiral has me back on the couch - this time using the switch, a toy we just added to our play. The sting breaks across the front of my thighs and once again my body is still under the blows. Until one lands just a bit harder than the others and I gasp, shocked out of my triggered "unconscious" state.
"Oh, too hard?"
"No, not really." And it really wasn't, at least not compared to what I usually take when fully conscious, "guess there's just a limit to the chloroform trigger."
"Yeah, that's pretty useful to know."
"Yeah," I grin, sheepishly.
"You need anything?"
"Nah, I'm good."
Spiral gets back into his scening self, and so do I. He grabs a hold of my leash again.
"Grayson, be a good boy."
I feel myself relax, the fight draining out of me. Things feel a little slower, less important, and soon I'm just a shell, without will or control.
"Mmm… There's my good boy. Bend over the bench."
I turn and I bend over the spanking bench next to the couch. A small far off part of my mind wonders if he will beat me while in this state. He doesn't normally. But what he does normally hadn’t been the case this night and doesn't matter anyway - because in this state, I do whatever is asked of me. Well, whatever I've expressed I'd like to have asked of me anyway. I feel him reach around and undo my belt buckle, then the buttons and zipper of my pants and let them fall. There's no question now, he plans to hit me.
I feel the blows begin, and stifle cries of pain, lowering my head into my arms. A far off voice in my head is surprised that I seem to make less noise as I take my beating. I feel like I'm being punished for something. What for doesn't really matter.
"ah! hgnh…" I hear myself give out a high pitched cry and whimper as the pain increases. I guess I'm only quieter during the warm up.
"Awww, is that whimpering already?"
I bury my face deeper into the spanking bench, my face flushing with shame, and I continue to hear my own whimpers as I take each blow.
-snap-
What the hell? I feel my pride somewhat wounded remembering my voice, so high pitched and pathetic while taking the beating under the submission trigger. It annoys me, but the humiliation of it lingers and makes me hope he'll do it again.
"Argh!" Spiral is changing things up again, beating me out of the trigger. I feel some relief as I hear my voice return to its normal tenor.
"Awww… you just want to suck my cock. But you're going to have to take more before I let you."
I love how condescending he sounds when he actively gets into the humiliation part of our play. There's something wonderfully super villainy about it. The part of me that enjoys fighting back really gets off by having that to work against, especially after coming out of the submission trigger - I feel it more than ever.
"You just want to be beaten, don't you? Why don't you beg me for it, you little whore?"
And that pushes it, I seize the opportunity, "I don't beg, asshole!"
I know even before I let the words come out that this was not a fight I was going to win. After all, I never do. But this is the first time I outright defy him, and I want to see where this baiting leads. I probably have a smirk written all over my face, but I'm not sure, being a little too distracted with the anticipation for what'll come next.
"Is that so? That's cute that you think you can resist."
"Ahhh…" He's using the paddle. Evil, evil thing.
“Well, I know you want it."
"Ahhh!"
"And I know you'll say it eventually."
He continues to smack the back of my thighs, harder than he had since we started that night. A part of me considers this a small victory on my part, the part not gritting my teeth and bracing myself against each blow. I really hope that I got a little under his skin, hard to do considering Spiral has pretty much complete control.
I feel him grab my hair from the top of my head.
"And I have ways to make you. I do have complete control."
"Not… completely." I'm so full of shit.
He slams my face into the spanking bench and lets go. "Grayson, be a good boy."
I feel my head lower in the presence of my master.
Spiral uses the leash I'm wearing to lift my face, but my eyes stay low. Cultural ideas and expectations of what submission is are so heavily ingrained into me; even knowing on some level that he probably wants me to meet his eyes, I can't.
"Aww, you're just a pathetic little whore that needs to be beaten, aren't you?"
"Yes, sir." No more fight.
"You just want to be beaten and used and fucked, don't you?"
"Yes, sir."
"Beg for it."
"Please beat me more, sir."
I feel him pet my hair, a gentle little gesture before the switch whistles and cracks across my thighs and I continue to whimper into my arms, regretting nothing.
I can't remember how long I took the beating. Sensations of pain mingled as Spiral without warning switched from the one implement to another all the while punctuating certain blows with verbal jabs. I felt myself shaking, as I gripped the bench to keep myself grounded.
"Hmm… pathetic little wretch." Clearly, this did not go unnoticed by Spiral.
-snap-
I'm too exhausted to do much but pant on the bench. I feel Spiral petting my hair again. "Everything okay?"
I laugh a bit, and I think I nod, my default reaction when I'm having a good time, but a little too exhausted and high to form clear verbal statements.
"Good. You know for all my teasing during the scene, you are tough."
I think I put my face back down when I hear this. I'm actually beaming from the compliment, but for some reason I don't want to show it. Maybe it's always thinking of myself as being physically weak - it's nice to have someone tell me otherwise, even if I don't know how to take it.
My memory gets fuzzy as I know Spiral made sure I was okay before moving on, but I don't recall it. Somewhere, we added a way for me to stop when I've had enough without actually having to say so in such terms. And though I remember what I need to say, I don't remember how it was negotiated. There was water in there somewhere. I really needed water by that point.
What I do recall with absolute clarity is the sense of utter, delicious panic I felt when Spiral had me bend back over and announced, "And now we're going to do the counting game."
"Oh. Shit."
Somewhere I'm aware that Spiral is laughing at me sadistically, and I grasp for a metal ring attached to the end of the spanking bench to calm my shaking. There was no winning with this game, only how long one can go until you lose. It's the first time I feel real fear during a scene, and it is exquisite. I know my eyes are wide open, and I can only imagine that I must look like a deer in head lights as I wait for what's to come.
The counting game was introduced the last time we played. It involves counting the blows I receive, but more specifically keeping a separate count for the belt, the paddle and now the newly added switch. The catch is, one is forced to keep mentally focused on each blow to differentiate between the various implements as well as recall how many stokes were applied by which object. And it makes every blow sharper, more distinct and intense on my already sore, bruised and abused backside and thighs.
I yelled each blow, more than counted, unable to concentrate on my composure. I think every change of tool brought out a "fuck" from me as I scrambled to remember where I was with the last stroke, and I think each time drew a dark laugh from the now fully sadistic Spiral. How long this lasted, I can't remember. I uttered one last "fuck" before Spiral knew I had completely lost count and started to rain down the strikes with whatever tool happened to be in his hand before I fucked up. It was the belt or the paddle, I couldn't even tell which by that point.
Screams tore from my throat and I felt myself looing all control. I wondered how much longer I could take the beating. If I wanted it to go on until I broke down and cried, or just reached a whole different state where the pain was in another dimension. I decided I did want the former, but not quite that night. No, I had a different craving I needed to sate. One I know Spiral appreciates.
"Please, may I suck you cock!"
I wondered if he'd acknowledge the plea with the absence of honorific. He must have been feeling generous, there was no hair pulling or man handling to force me to amend my statement.
"Hm… you're ready to suck my cock, you quivering little wretch?"
I am more than just quivering, I'm barely able to nod my affirmation.
"Good boy, good little fucktoy," he puts his hand on my hair and face again, I rub myself into him.
"Grayson, be a good boy."
The beating already has me at a fairly submissive mindset, but the trigger fully holds me there and doesn't let me surface from it.
"Get on your knees and remove my shoes and socks. And as you do, repeat 'I am a mindless fucktoy.’”
I am too tired and beaten to feel particularly degraded by the command and start to repeat the mantra.
"I am a mindless fucktoy."
"Remove my pants." My eyes wander as I drink in my master's svelt lower body.
"I am a mindless fucktoy."
And I feel the anticipation swell in me.
"I am a mindless fucktoy."
"And my boxers."
"I am a mindless fucktoy."
The smell of his manhood is arousing, and had I not been commanded under hypnotic suggestion, I probably would have forgotten my mantra - but under it, I continue the repetition until finally allowed to take his cock into my mouth. I take it as my reward and allow myself to take pleasure in running my tongue on the underside of his shaft as I work his cock further into my mouth.
And crap. Somehow I always forget with all the panting, sweating and screaming, it's always when his head reaches the back of my throat and the condom starts to tickle the dry patch that I remember about water.
"Sir, may I get a drink?"
"Of course."
Getting up and walking hurt, like a terrible burn. I had forgotten the pain of my beating while performing my oral service. I started to get back on my knees as I drank. The position helped. I considered for a moment getting back up, and decided against it. Maybe it was the submission trigger, but there was something that felt right about crawling back to my master on my hands and knees.
The gesture did not go unappreciated and I heard a sound of approval come from Spiral. How much he enjoyed this I am not sure, my head remaining lowered the whole crawl back, but I could only imagine he had found the act becoming. Assuming he liked the action, I logged in the back on my mind somewhere to crawl to him more often. We will have to see if this decision took the next time I'm placed in my submissive mind state.
Again I put my mouth around Spiral's cock. He's far too large for me to deep-throat, laughably so, but there are other ways to bring a cock to orgasm and I take some pride in knowing how. I bob lightly up and down, gliding my tongue along as I do so that I take him deeper. And there it is, I feel his hand press the back of my head gently when I tighten the back of my throat around the head of his cock. It's all the sign I need and I commit to the specific ministrations until I feel the pulsing of his orgasm and hear a choked sigh leave his lips. I let my jaw slacken as he pulls himself out of my mouth leaving a thin trail of saliva from my bottom lip to the tip of his manhood; and I feel myself absolutely sated, still on my knees, still in my submissive trigger. And everything is perfect.
-snap-
Reality slowly comes back as I stay on my knees for a while letting things take their time to fall back into place, and all I can think is: "That was fucking awesome."
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