So, I thought I'd compress a bunch of kinky thoughts I've been having lately into my first writing on here.
I guess this train of thought started with the realization that I have never been nude in front of someone. Ever, really, not counting childhood nudity and stuff like that - I have never been in a position to choose to be nude for the appreciation of somebody else. Which is...rather odd. I'm proud of my body. I like my legs, my ass, my penis. I'm even very satisfied with my soft, un-sixpacked belly. I'm thin, I'm in reasonably good shape, I love the feel of my shaved body, I love the way my long hair drapes over my shoulders. And yet...I've never shared this body I'm so proud of with someone else. I'm not in a great hurry to or anything, but it's odd.
This goes hand-in-hand with another train of thought that's arisen lately. A friend of mine modeled in a hypnofetish shoot - and seeing her in that shoot made me desperately want to star in one, too, as a hypnotic subject.
So I've been eschewing my hetero hypno porn favorites (Entrancement UK ftw!) and checking out Hypno Submission. Imagining what it'd be like to be one of the men in those shoots...thinking about what I would request for a custom session...imagining my mind going blank for a powerful hypnotist...
And most of all, imagining the video. Me! In a hypnofetish porn video! Not only that, but in one that - if my custom suggestions were followed - would actually appeal to the hypno and ASFR crowd instead of just the leatherman audience that Hypno Submission panders to. I feel I have it in me to do something special as a submissive on camera. I want to provide a good video for all the male hypnosubs, or for the few ladies out there who'd like to see a wispy guy tranced and obedient and naked. I'd like to fill the void of real hypno ASFR videos with male subs. Something like Entrancement UK would do, but with a dude.
But I worry. I don't want my naked body and my face being in the wrong place. Yeah, I can use a stage name...but how much protection does that provide?
And how would I get to friggin' Baltimore to do a shoot with that studio? The guy doesn't even pay his models, from a look at the site. Would the hypnotist there even bother with a straight guy with picky tastes and a different fetish set from the rest of the men on the site? Let alone a femme-y guy at odds with the leather aesthetic he promotes. Would my detailed list of wants be seen as too demanding for a sub?
For that matter, I haven't even subbed for a woman yet, and women are my passion. Anal sex and giving head are hard limits for me - I have no interest in ever doing either. Yet here I am consumed with the desire to submit to a man - not even for the sexuality, but because it would be on camera, because I would be exposing myself and creating a hot video. Because I hope and believe that an experienced and talented hypnotist can blank my mind and make me submit better than I ever did to MP3 inductions.
Not only that - it would be great for a laugh among my friends. I could compare with my friend's shoot. I could show it off to my GLBT friends. My kink friends could get to see me as a sub, expressing my desires in a whole other context.
Well...while I work out the inner turmoil and hot fantasies, perhaps I can turn this fantasy into erotica, at least. Who'd have thought that my first erotica would be m/m? XD
